Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About The frontier. (O'Neill City, Holt County, Neb.) 1880-1965 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 13, 1896)
A Mother’s Lore. It is said that the Hon. Spaniel Gal* ; low-ay of Columbus, O., was one of the plainest men ever known in the state. He told many stories relative to. his own personal ugliness of face with great good humor. One which he often related with much relish was that of the remark made by the little daughter of a friend in an other city with whom he was dining. ‘-Mamma,” he heard the child say in an awe-struck whisper, After a pro longed survey of the peculiar features of the guest, “that gentleman's mamma must have loved children mighty welL” "Why so, my dear?” inquired the un suspecting parent "Oh,” returned the child in the same audible whisper, “’cause she raised him!”—Youth’s Companion. SlOO Reward, SUM, The readers of this paper will be pleased to learn that there is at least one dreaded disease that science has been able to cure in ali its stages, and that Is Catarrh. Hall's Catarrh Cure is the only positive cure now known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh being a constitutional disease requires a con stitutional treatment. Hall’s Catarrh Cure Is taken Internally, acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system, thereby destroying the foundation of the disease and gi^ng the patient strength by building up the con stitution and assisting nature In doing Its work. The proprietors have so much faith In its curative powers that they offer pne Hundred Dollars for any case that It falls to cure. Send for list of testimonials. Address F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, a Sold by druggists; 7Sc. f Hall's Family Pills, 2Sc. 1 he fattest man vvB Wef faw it called “Heart’s Desire” by bis wif§. . Earl In t Radishes and Peas. | The editor urges all readers to grow | the eirHest vegetables. They pay. Well Salzer’s Seeds aie bred to earllhess,' they grow and produce every time. None go early, so fine cs Satyr’s. Try his radishes! cabbage, peas, beets, cucum-1 bers, lettuce, corn, etc! Money in It for , you. Salzer is the largest grower of vegetables, farm seeds-, grasses, clovers, potatoes, etc. . I I if yen will cut lliU out add send , to the John A. Salzer Seed Co., La Crosse, Wis., with 10c postage, you will i get sample phekage of Early Bird Rad- | ish (ready In 16 days) and their great catalogue. Catalogue alone Sc postage. __w.n. Frido in prosperity turns to misery in ad versity. _. _ COLORADO GOLD MINES. If you are interested in gold mining or wish to keep posted regarding the wonderful strides being made in Colo rado, it will pay you to send fifty cents for a year's subscription to "'The Gold Miner, an illustrated monthly paper published at Denver._ You can't stuff some people so much that they will l.e grateful_' Health cave Impaired la not railly rrralmO, SrctPrtrtaCi'- Utng rTunfu tins iiUalued Iheso results la many ca*s.(. -Good forevery weakaesssud distress No mother is so wicked but desires to have good children._' It Is more than wsadeitUl hour'pane .ily people'suffer with corns. ■Ggtpeaca and comfort by removing tnesuwlth Htnde rooms. The >hero does not treed quarrels, but be defends himself._ ✓ 3t -the Uaby M Cutting Weern. tmin sBd use that old ad -wcil-trlad -remedy. Hit Winston--a SooTiusa Sysco-tor’OlrildranTeeihlag. Kix feet of earth makes .all-men equal. Gladness Comes With a better understanding of the transient nature of the many phys ical iiu which vanish before proper ef forts—gentle efforts—pleasant efforts— rightly directed. There-is comfort er the knowledge ttiat so imany forms'of sickness are not due to any actual dis ease, but simply to a constipated condi tion of the system, which the pleasant family laxative, Syruprff 'Figs, prompt ly removes. That is why it is the only remedy with millionsof families, and Is every wheat! esteemed so: highly by all who value-good health. .Its beneficial effects are due to the fact,' that it is the one remedy which promotes internal cleanliness, without debilitating the organs on which it acts. ;it is therefore all important,! in order to get its bene ficial effects, • to note when you pur chase, that yon have the genuine article, which is manufactured by the California / Fig Syrup Co’, only, and sold by all rep ,•' utable druggists. If in the enjoyment of good health, and the system is regular, ‘then laxa tives or other remedies are-not needed. If afflicted with any actual.disease, one may be commended to the most skillful physicians, but if in need of a laxative, then one should have the best,-and with the well-informed every wlit-ne, Syrup of Figs stands Highest and is most iargely used and gives most general satisfaction. A Fortune for market Gardeners I _—- Wpndtrflnl Wow African_ Sun Burly Sweat Votntp, as yollow asyold . nail sweet us honey, curliest and most pnttUlo known; a bonanza for tho north, on account of Its r&ptC growth nnd earl/ maturity; matures la the'extreme north long before frost; cultivate*], as it grows right up with no vines to bother with; an immense yielder. Xfttrgro2,ree 'Catalogue containing over fifty pew varieties seeds, including my Vow Home Grown GesQfce, with testimonials from patrons all over the Union who havo tried it. It costa onlv 2 cents per pound to raise this coffee. Po tato seed, poet paid, 85 ‘cents per pound by C# *• COLB, Seedsman, Buokncr, Mo. Free sample of Coffqe and Large Catalogue for f> eta. stamps. LEGGINS! Kino Array J>uck wl h >liij «p in , 91.00. Good Heary D> ck. with Buckles. Uftf. !*ent prepaid on receipt oi price. it i/P of tUoi' an'i of calf - f »e« i. C. H UN’l INC* TO X A SOX. Otuaha. GBIllBii Morphine Habit Cured In 10 Ur IIIHi t° SO days. No pay till cured. WI BWHl DR, h STEPHEN* Letanon.Ohic# “COMIC-’ VALENTINES. THEY MAKE ONE MAN LAUQH AND ANOTHER SWEAR. ! ' - • About tho Man Who Malta* ’Em—Mr. Howard Indulge* la Them Whoa Ho raela Bad, and Oautaa 100,000,000 Cum Word* For Yean . HAVE discovered the man who makes all the comic valen tines. Yes, gentle reader, It Is true that one conscience has to carry the en tire burden. Per haps you do not , know how heavy that burden Is. Ldarn, then, that the person to whom I have referred draws about 900 valentine pictures every year, and each of them is printed in editions of 15,000. Most of them are sold in this country, but there is also Quite an export trado with Europe. The most popular of them run through many editions. But let us suppose that each of them has two editions. That will * total of 27,000,000 a year. Now, reflect, further, that everyone of them is designed to make somebody swear, and you begin to get an idea of the ter rible business in which this artist Is engaged. Let us suppose that 20,000, Wv of them reach their destinations, and that each individual recipient swears only five times, we have a to 1W,000,ooo cuss-words, for which ifiy friend, the artist, is directly respon sible, every year. Suppose, further, that the artist holds his Job thirty-six and a half years, and afterwards suf fers In purgatory ono day for every piece of violeht language caused by him, as computed above, he will be there 10,000,000 years, and I do not call it enough, writes Howard Fielding In a New York paper of recent date.. These mathematical operations are founded upon*exact facte. In this let ter I am simply trying to state a matter of news in plain words. I have known the valentine artist for a long time, but never suspected him of doing anything of that kind. It was only yesterday that I learned about it. I went into his work shop Just as he Bnlahed a drawing. I looked over his shoulder expecting to see a pretty pic- j ture designed for one el the magazines,! with the famlltar signature, C. Howard. Instead I saw a horrible freak wearing a white apron and engaged in pouring cats Into a sausage-mill. ^‘That's a sweet thing, Howard,” said I. “What’s It for?” “For « butcher,” said he. "IPb in tended to be a slight token of some body's regard on Feb. 14. I’ve made THE BABOON VAES3NTINE. nearly a thousand of these things tKs 1 year. What do you suppose Ou Saint Valentinus, patron of the.pleasant oceu sion, will do <with me when he gets hold of me?” That naturally led to»a dlscussiouuof the whole rabject. It appears that Howard does not allow these drawings to interfere in any way with his art i work. He has a very nice way of get ting the time to do theun. In thoee moments of dissatisfaction which on ; ordinary man would waste in swearing | or in throwing a fellow creature down stairs Howard simply draws valentines. It relieves his feelings perfectly. I was glad to know this, for'I had been ata ; loss to account for the exemplary mild | ness of his disposition. It would be unjust, of course, to compare so favor ed a person with ourselves. We do not have the opportunity of insulting 27, 000,000 strangers every year. We must do the best we can with only our fam-j dies and friends. j It.appears that comic valentines are’ all offensive. They are divided broadly into two classes, which are known tech nically as the “Hit-’em-Hards” and the “long Jokers.” By the rules of ordi nary social courtesy a person may reply to a Long Joker with a club; but if he gets a Hit-’em-Hard be takes down the old musket from the wall. The enormous sale of these things proves that they mast fill a longing of the human heart. The two sexes feel this want about equally. Just as many are painted for men as for women. I regard that as an Inter*sting fact which might easily escape the notice of a less acute student of human nature than myself. Just how badly you have to hate a person before you feel Impelled to Insult him pictorlally on the 14th of February I am unable to state. But there must be a good many million peo ple In this country who could tell from their personal experience. This prac tice shows the general recognition of the artistic value of contrast. An added charm must cling to the pic ture of a Jackass labelled “This is You" when it Is received on the day sacred to lovers' tokens. Mr. Howard tells me that these valen tines are all directed to the pictorial exhibition of some human fault or folly. If they were confinod to any other Held he might And it difficult to draw at many as 900 In a single year. A considerable number ot the valen tines Intended for women satirise ec centricities of fashion. This winter there is a great field for that sort ol work in the prevailing style ot capes. The preposterously broad and stifi shoulders with their convoluted edges turned up, make a woman look like the head of John the Baptist on a charger. Mr. Howard tells me that be has tried to exaggerate the absurdities of this kind of cape and has failed. “I can’t make it look worse than It really doe? when I see It on the Street,” he said, "and so I have to make up for it by drawing a cross-eyed wdman In side the cape. The worse the face looks the better the valentine sells. I should think it would make a poor girl who had put all her cash into one of those capes feel pretty good to be tenderly remembered with one of. these' cape valentines on the 14th. I understand that they are already in great demand, which shows the state of envious re sentment among the girls who are wearing their last winter's capes." , Passing 'to men’s attire, the dude In caricature of this order has changed very little in the past five or six years, j In this connection the artist told Ini' one of the toughest experiences that ever I heard. It appears that he once ! drew a particularly offensive dude val entine. The absolute idiocy of' the countenance which he put on the dud* THE MODERN DUDE, left nothing whatever to be desired. Of course, there were many other dude caricatures that year, but this was the most offensive by long odds. It hap* pened that a young man of Mr. How ard’s acquaintance got three valentines that year from three different cities, and every one of his unknown admirers picked out this Identical valentine. What could a'tman think tinder such exceptional circumstances except that there was a distinct resemblance be tween himself and the fellow In the pic ture? It must have been deeply der pressing. I learn from Mr. Howard ‘that.'this gentleman did not commit sui cide, but he would have committed murder under favwraiUle conditions. Cnre of the most successful valentines ever sent out was entitled "The Slug gard.” It -represented a man in bed. A pair of naked and gigantic feet hung | "over the footboard, which was in the foreground: and tbs-sun, with a smile of derision on his 'countenance, was seen looking in through an open win dow. Mr. Howard gave this to me In a philosophical spirit as a sample of what 1b considered a rare joke by many thousands of persons. Perhaps the richest thing—if popular applause be the criterion—in’the line of comic val entines for women was a picture en titled “Going to Seed.” It represented a particularly ill-conditioned plant in a large red flower-pot, and the floorer was the typical headiof an old maid. Thou sands upon thousands of these were sold, and they served, doubtless, to em oitter the Uiotqfhts of a corresponding number of women who ought rather to have been congratulated. While many of these valentines aro use'd In malice, the real reason why they sell Is that the people think flhat they are funny. There’s a very deep theme. I have | made a special duty of the problem, What do peopleilaugh at? And I have partly solved It. I have learned what I myself laugh alt—but the remaining persons mentioned In Mr. Porter’s cen sus have thus far eluded me. And eves in my own case the result Is not con stant. One day, perhaps, I can laugh at one of my own Jokes, and a few days later, when I run across it in a copy of THE OLD MAID ALWAYS SEEMS WELL. an old magazine which died before I was born. It don't seem funny at all. Hut Mr. Howard has gone farther. He has not only discovered the secret of what is humor to a great class of our citizens, but ho has learned what will make one man laugh and another man swear. I call that a considerable tri umph. Some 17m. Fcatherstanc—Willie, I don’t see1 that valentine that I gave your slater in this pile. Willie—No; she gave it to the baby to play with. , ‘ LET THE EARTH REJOICE AM) farmers slug. With our new hardy grasses, clovers ahd fodder plants the poorest, most worn out, toughest, worst piece of land can be made as fertile as the valley of the Nile. Only takes a year or so to do so! At the same time you will be getting big crops! Teoslnte, Giant Spurry, Sacaline, Lathyrus, what a variety of names! Catalogue tells you! If you will rut this out anil • n | it to the John A. Salzer Seed Co., La Crosse, Wis., with 10c. postage, you will get free their mammoth catalogue and ten grass and grain fodder samples (worth $10,00 to get a start). w.n. Calling a Dog by Telrpliouc. An intelligent hunting dog who had itrayed away wna found in Kew Hart ford, Conn., recently, and the finder notified the dog's owner in Wiustcd. The New Hartford man called up the owner by telephone to arrange for re turning the dog, and while tnllcing asked the owner the dog’s name. '-Hold him up to tho telephone," was the re ply. The part of the instrument wak put against the dog’s ear, and the owner called, ‘‘Bash.’’ The dog rec ognized the voice, and setup a burking which showed his joy.—Boston Herald. Wc Are roieoned by Air and Water , Wlien they Contain the gernsof tnulurlu T*> annihilate these nnd avoid and conquer, chills and fever, billions remittent or diimlr ague, use persistently and regularly Pc;'tot* tor’s tomacli Bitten-, which hIso remedies dyspepsia, liver trouble, ennstipntion, loss of strength, nervou nest i-houmutism and kidney complaint Appetite and sleep are Improved by this thorough medicinal aaent, and the Infirmities of age mitigated by it A wineglussful three times a day. When Bathing the Daby. The best kind of apron to use when bathing the baby is made of two thick uesses of fl-iitncl, with a piece of rub ier clot'n laid between. The rubber prevents all possibility of the dress get ting wet, and can easily be removed when the apron is laundried. Walter Baker A Co.. Limited, Dor Chester, Mass., the well-known manufac turers of Breakfast Cocoa and other Cocon and Chocolate preparations, have ail extraordinary collection of medals ntid diplomas awarded at the grant interna tional nnd other exhibitions in Kurope niul America. The house has had un interrupted prosperity for nearly a cen tury nnd a quarter nnd is now not only the oldest but the largest establishment of the kind on this continent. The high degree of perfection which tho company ‘lias altnined- in its manufactured prod ucts is tlie result of long experience com bined witli an intelligent use of tin; new, forces which are constantly 1 icing Intro duced to increase the power nud improve the quality of production, aud cheapen the cost to. tile consumer. Tlie full strength and thmexquisite nat ural flavor of the raw material lire pre served unimpaired in all of Walter Baker * Company’s preparations: so that their products may truly ho sold to form the ■tandurd for parity nnd excellence. In view of the ninny imitations of tlie name, laliels and wrappers on their goods l consumers should ask for and be sure i that they get tlie genuine articles made at Dorchester, Mass. Tho Passing sf the Outlaw. j The wonderful strides of develop-1 ment in Oklahoma and Indian Territor- | ies during -the past threo years, and the | rapid advancement of civilization and j Christianity In those territories during that time, leave the outlaw no longer a resting place an -this continent. Beautiful cities, rich valleys and the rolling .prairies of that country now teeming with an industrious aud enter prising class of people take the .place where -such hands ware -roaming at will -only a few ahort years ago. The peo ple of that-torritory ihave; as little to fear from -any -fkirtber outrages from-such a source an those in Ahe east, and such la the result of fiuvorable legislation, backed up by the eourage, push and on-' terprise of the American, people. Huw to Day a Carriage. The great need of the times is a con dition whereby the producer and eon snmer-may deal-with each other with out the intervention-of the middle man The common carrier Bhnutd be the only aniddleanan. The BlkhactCarriage and Harness Co., of Elkhart, Ind., deals di rectly -with the consumer. Their goods sure shipped anywhere for examination before'snler Bvery carriage, every sot j of harness, every > article sold, war ranted. One -hundred styles of canri- j -ages, ninety styles of harness and forty- 1 ■ome siyles of -riding-saddles. Send for their 113 page catalogue. Tills eon -eern -dues en extensive business throughout the United States. Wimt the fool does in the end, tbe-wise mam does -in the ieginning. Tw® bottles of fiso-s Cure for Consump tion cured .me cfa bad lung troub e.—Mrs. J. .Nichols, Princeton, Ind., Mar. hi, 18U3. Yoamg man, dent be afraid to soil your hands at honest-toil. .Fltl-SIthtartBfetfiwIiyDr.Kllnii'iiflret Nerve Men borer, ho Pits utter tlie Uh iiu v ■» um, hurveUmecureM. Treatise am IS2 trial lain loti— t» iucuaea. t>uihtt«Jjr.Jviu.e^31 AvcUbt.,l'hilu..fca. That is tut auempty purse that is iull-of ! other men's anoney. I Bkonckiti*. Sudden changes of the weath* er cause Bronchial Troubles. “Brown’s Bronchial Troches” silgite effective reliof. A deceitful woman leaves tracks that will expose her._ Hlfmst’e camphor !«• with Ql yen-ms Cures ■»“<** and Knee. Tender er Sore Pep Chilblains, Piles, *c. c. G. Clark Co., New Haven. c| How a little girl likes tp say to a boy, “Oh, you’re going to catch it!” Who ever would learn how to talk well, must first learn how to keep still. -.... BETTER WALK A MILE 0«B*3i#f to get a 5-cent package of 8u£ «■£: f! Slash smoking tobacco if you must »*• enjoy a real good smoke. Cot > Slash cheroots are as good asimsMW' 5-ceat cigars, and yon get threg ftr S i cents. Sure to please. , i , ■ ■ v . / . ...... ■ . The admirers of a new Atchisoa dacSew - say he can raise the dead. , • i Never Out of Work. irsr rsj most from PAINS and cannot work. ST. JACOBS Oil* ( will euro and lit them for work when the chance comes. ' , | "Your Bat PLUG The largest piece of .good tobacco ever sold for io cents - .and ;Jhe 5 cent piece is nearly as -large as you get of other high grades for 10 cents: HURRAH. FARMERS! SHOUT FOR JOY! FiM. laxuriaadpaitanaaiMt rich maadoaa. aradactaf tramaaMaa ku TUtMidi.Ha— »? »»WafoMaoa.lWa onararpaotl.la tiara <Hn, kjrHW<|| wir --- aad Ctaaar Miriam Totwbb t>M< «« wait a UAtiaa for a food atari a* aia.ton *»«*'*wMak,If•rwaln April, will pradaea a raaaiaf trip la Jat». *• -| ~rL GiaaiCaltaia,ata..taaBMi>oata(a. - __ . „.W,* f •4®0 •** OOLD PRIZ1S ' 7ilk ***• »u,i ••*«*« Klaa (Sfaltaa ■aaaarrtUMM 1«1 *..*T7bu«Uta;tkaH«ia*wt-T.. Your.a Mat that la iMMaadaiaUlir Mpr » Fatataca will raralatiaaiaa fomiaxt Wa ara IM MtCat ltor aftka KaaMM— new iMttd Barisy, OM, Ci^n and will rvToIntioniM tarsi sc! ' Htdi nrodnct—a* tb« «dit Jenny wimom Potato rUlSod lor mo 7M bnobsltyor mm. K« •arty ®ort jrfeMo 7M bnahnls, wbnt will a lato do? Potato** an!/ |l fiO yor Wml. 5row*r« of farm oosdo in th* world! „ «lwn»y*-Hh#r » Early Wioeonois Potato . , ... «A»LI«»T.VIMT«IIH IN TNI WOULD. SplandM nrta, (aajtaUa. Oaioa Saad anlr We. par Ik. SB aka. Karliaat B2tsssaJ!«ff-£=r"r^»- *-mCi-JSrta/SK k*t (ja«teWiU4, is. yootafe. Plaaii Cuttfca Following Oal and San* II ' g21i&-L2I£!S32 “4 mmfl* Wiih 1] mta |v_ Waternaloa too option! ton 0?HN A.SAL2ER SEEDjCpTlA FIELD AND HOC FENCE WIRE. SO. 88, 4B, BO, or 88 inches high. Quality and workmanship the „ Nothing on the market to compare with it. Write for rull Information* UNION FENCE COMPANY. DE KALB. ILL. fcr 1' - '■ * { Rattlesnakes, Butterflies, < and... ? J Washington titling said, he supposed a certain hill was called , “Rattlesnake Hill” because it abounded in — butterflies. The I “ rule ot contrary ” governs other names. Some bottles are, sup- , posedly, labeled •“ Sarsaparilla ” because they are full of . . . well, ^ we don’t know what they"are full of, but wo know it’s not sarsapa- , rilla; except, perhaps, enough for a flavor. There’s only one v make of sarsaparilla that can be relied oa to be all it claims. It’s , Ayer’s. It has bo secret to keep. Its formula is open to all V physicians. This formula was examined by the Medical Com- , mittee at the World's Fair with the result that while every other \ make of sarsaparilla was excluded from the Fair, Ayer’s Sarsapa- . rilla was admitted and honored by awards. It was admitted be- (j cause it was the best sarsaparilla. It received the medal as the . best. No other sarsaparilla has beep, so tested or so honored, f Good motto for the family as well as the Fair: Admit the best, , exclude the rest. (( Any doubt about it ? Send tor tlic Cureboofe.'' ~ | f It kUL< doubts and cum doublers. •• ” Address: J. C. Ayer Co., Lowell, Usee. if xmu AUKjiuntiu co. does half the , wfodmlll business, fconuiw it hu reduced Uw triad power tu 1.0 v. uui Hwaa.« it hue auari -houses, imd supplies ltacood* and Sadtyuur door. It can auddoaa h . batter article lor levs 'Mliera. It makes “ .Ueared, StfvL tta . JttaaelcthiQ Windmills. . and Fixed Steel Towrrs,8teei ~ Frame*, steel Feed Cutlers : Grtmiora. On application it win ... of these articles that It will January let at 1/3 the tmtal priori Tanks arnTpumpsof all kluoa.‘“iiend lor r* Factory I 12th. KackwtU aad FUlmert strata. THB LAND Or THS BIG RED APPLE f b* Lart «In4 Imi l* W fca4 la (bo *<mm fl For INFORMATION manllnf Uad tv 1 ft. W. X1MOVRI, writ* ft C«n. Pvanv. flew city,' Him j. a. Heaton, fw*. Hw, . T. M. raver, cassrUla, Me., or 1C H Smwn7a3m^ MM Meaadaook Hide. Ckkaru. m. ' PN8IOW^igfl&^. izsmvitssvvms&igi tthwtwar. lSadlmlumiingrf.1... W. N. U., OMAHA—7— When writing to advertisers, Ulnflty meution this paper.